How to Bail When Your Hookup Goes South

So you met a smoking hot woman through an adult finder website, chatted her up, and now you’ve both agreed to meet up in person. Done deal, right? Not necessarily. Just because you’re going to get together in person doesn’t mean that sex is on the table. In fact, there’s a chance that just the opposite will be true. There are any number of reasons your hookup might head south, and if it does you need to have a plan of exit that will not only let you save face, but will let you skip out before things get really messy.

Tell Her the Truth

"Tell her that you are not enjoying the date and you want to leave"

“Tell her that you are not enjoying the date and you want to leave”

If she’s very, very different from what she led you to believe, one of your best exit strategies is to just tell her the truth about why you’re not longer interested. For example, if the pictures she provided on the website were obviously not of her, you can call her out for being a liar. The same goes if she told you she was tall, thin, and blonde and she’s short, chunky, and brunette in real life. If you’ve been seriously mislead you totally have the right to feel indignant and bail whenever you feel like without feeling like a douche.

“Maybe Next Time”

You can make your exit sound more like a rain check if you’re smooth enough. Maybe you’re at the bar and you’ve both been drinking quite a bit. If you suddenly find that your libido’s nowhere to be found, you can blame your cold feet on the booze. Tell her you’re not feeling well. You can also tell her that you’re too drunk and that you’d like to actually be able to remember having sex with her. If you’re using this tactic you need to sound genuinely disappointed to make it work. Otherwise it’ll be obvious that you’re just trying to bail on her completely.

Use a Friend

"Pretend a fake call to get out from here"

“Pretend a fake call to get out from here”

One of the smartest exit plans you can have is one that involves a friend. Before you set up for your pre-hook up date, fill a bud in on what’s going on. Get him to agree to call you with an “emergency” if you send him some kind of sign that things aren’t going so well (a text or an email should suffice). This way you can sneakily send that signal if your date is a train wreck, which will result in your friend calling you with an emergency he needs your help with (or showing up to find you if you want to be really dramatic). This will seem like a genuine reason for you having to bail, even if it’s not.


If you have no issue with being viewed as a jerk, you can always use the “men’s room vanish” trick. It really is as simple as it sounds. If the evening isn’t going so well you just excuse yourself to go to the men’s room. And once that happens, all you need to do is vanish by an exit that she can’t see. Yes, this method makes you a giant asshole, but it also means you get away with any messiness. Just be prepared to be lambasted by her the next time you’re both online at the same time.


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