The Fine Line Between Being Assertive Online and Being Creepy

"Don't act creepy"

“Don’t act creepy”


Women like men who are confident. Men display confidence by being assertive. This means that you’re the one who approaches her, and you’re the one who asks her out on a date, and you’re the one who has to make all the hard choices and risk getting rejected. In real life, it’s pretty easy to read a woman’s signals to tell when she’s getting uncomfortable with how assertive you are. Online it can be much more difficult to tell, and you’re going to have to be a lot more careful. If you’re too assertive you’re going to come off as creepy and then no woman is going to date you. Here’s how to walk that fine line between being appealing and assertive and being creepy.

Do Take No for an Answer

That’s right: DO take no for an answer. Think about it this way: when you’re in a bar, there’s a finite number of hot women you’d be happy to sleep with tonight. Let’s say it’s a huge bar, so there are 10 women you’d be thrilled to go home with and maybe another 10 you’d accept if the first 10 said no. That’s 20 potential hookups in a room, and they can all see you hitting on the others. If you’ve invested 3 hours of talk into a woman who changes her mind, it pays to just make sure that she’s sure. Otherwise you have to try to wrangle one of the others before the night is over.

Online, so you have so many more options for dates that it doesn’t matter if a woman turns you down. There are plenty of fish in the sea that you can find right now with one site search. If a woman says no, don’t ask again; move on to an equally hot woman who really wants to chat tonight.

An Emote Doesn’t Make Your Message Okay

"A smiley emoticon will not be able to pacify her"

“A smiley emoticon will not be able to pacify her”


A lot of guys rely on emotes to do a lot of their communicating. “Is this sexy or pushy? Better throw on a winky face at the end so she knows I mean it in a suggestive but playful manner.” One of the ways that you have to fight inadvertently misreading a woman’s signals is by not assuming that you can slap on a smilie face and everything will be better. If your message was creepy without the emote it’s going to be creepy with it. Rather than use them, rewrite your message to be closer to how not creepy it was in your head.

All You Need to Do Is Have a Plan

Really, being assertive online isn’t that hard. All you have to do is have a plan for a good date that the two of you could go on. It can even be the same date idea for every woman you contact; she’s not going to know. If you have an idea of where you’d like to go and what you’d like to do with her it’s going to be enough to blow your wishy washy competition out of the water.

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